i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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