He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
