Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
