help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Did I show you my penis last night?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
