stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
