After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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