the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
