But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
