So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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