i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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