If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
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It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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