Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
