alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
