i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
