Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
