what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
