Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
