The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
false alarm, still single
Randomize
