Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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