I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
