I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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