I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
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i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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