Pants 0. Shit 1.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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