good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
