yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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