My first STD was from a foam party
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
