I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize