I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize