sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Floor bacon is actually really good
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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