Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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