I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
