one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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