He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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