Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
