Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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