"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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