so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
