NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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