The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
