so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
