the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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