I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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