If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
