they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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