I hope mine doesn't look like that
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
