There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
