I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
