He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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