just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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