No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
