hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
