ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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