you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
