Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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