happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
