They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
