with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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