Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
