Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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