dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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