They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
