Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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