You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
